Why is change such a pain?

We are all creatures of habit. We happily cling to our old ways & love to follow the path of least resistance (cognitive inertia). That is the reason why we pick the same items of the menu & prefer to wear similar outfits everyday.

This resistance occurs because our minds and bodies are extremely proficient is tenaciously maintaining the status quo (homeostasis) . It is the most primitive part of our brain that wires our habits & routines together and helps our brain run in default mode making it more energy efficient & quick to respond. For example, if you’re an experienced driver, you do not consciously focus your attention on steering, accelerating or braking. Your brain does it on autopilot.

Change, of any form, challenges these well established neural pathways, disrupts the flow of our routines &goes against the default functioning. Thus causing resistance & invoking emotions of fear, anger & resentment.

While the cause of change may differ for each of us, the emotional rollercoaster that we all go through when faced with the challenge of change is more or less the same.

The Change Curve:

The Change Curve is a powerful model of change originally developed by Kubler & Ross to explain the process of grief. It is now being widely used to understand the emotional responses to any significant change.

The following are the 4 stages that people generally go through when faced with change.

Stage 1:

The first stage of change is characterised by shock or denial. The resistance in this phase may manifest as blame on others.

Stage 2:

The transition from stage 1 to stage 2 involves moving from blaming others to blaming self & being overly critical of oneself. Both stages 1 & 2 are very stressful and a lot of people waver between these phases for a long time.

Stage 3:

Third stage is a progress from complete resistance & involves confusion & doubt. It indicates that the person is beginning to explore the outcomes of the change & analyse how it would impact him.

Stage 4:

Fourth and the final stage involves not just accepting but also embracing the change. People start to accept the new reality & start building hopes & aspirations around it.

There is no doubt that change is difficult. Undoubtedly there will be setbacks and a lot of days when you absolutely hate the whole idea of change but keeping yourself focused on the why behind the what, can give you the necessary push against your behavioural inertia.

As they say, “Change is hard in the beginning, messy in the middle & gorgeous in the end.”