Be the change you want to see

How many times have you caught yourself trying to change your partner? That's the most common response to conflict. But truth be told, that isn't going to do you any good, even if it does happen.

The key to success here is to focus more on your own actions and reactions. If you notice a stuck pattern in your relationship, try and change your part in it instead of putting your energy on changing your partner.

Don't Assume. Ask

As a couple's therapist, I've noticed that in 9 out 10 cases, what people assume their partners to be thinking turns out to be 100% wrong. When you see the situation solely from your perspective, you begin to assume the worst about your partner's thoughts & feelings.

Instead of jumping to conclusions without fully knowing the truth, it is much better to directly ask your spouse. When you do this exercise with big & small things, you begin to understand each other's view points better & cultivate a deeper connection.

Move from 'YOU' statements to 'I' Statement

The first thing most people do when they're angry is to put the blame on the other person - 'You do not care enough' ; 'You are always late' ; 'You always take your mother's side'. This puts your spouse on the defensiv

The best way to resolve any issue or disagreement is to make your case with “I” statements - 'I need more 'us' time' ; ' I feel hurt when I have to keep waiting for you for so long' ; ' You don't have to pick a side. I just need you to hear out my side of things.' This allows your partner to see things from your perspective & communicate with more empathy.

It's the little things that matter

People generally believe that grand gestures such as buying expensive gifts or planning luxury vacations are main ingredient of a successful marriage. While these things will surely make your partner happy, its the small things that will keep your relationship strong & health

Make your partner a cup of coffee, give them a foot massage when they get back home tired or stick a love note in their wallet. These little things make a big difference by showing your partner how much you care and making your emotional connection way stronge

Its not You Vs Your Spouse, Its You & Your Spouse Vs The Issue:

When you get into a fight with your partner, you begin to feed your ego by trying to to win the argument or prove them wrong

But what you need to realise is that you and your partner are on the same team. Keep your raging emotions in check, watch what you say & remind yourself that the enemy here is not your partner but the problem at hand.

Every relationship has its ups & downs. Tough times do not mean that you give up on your partner or the relationship. The key to successful relationships lies in catching problems early on & overcoming challenges before they take on insurmountable proportions

Art lets you make connections, imagine possibilities & see yourself beyond the moment in which you are stressed or depressed. So the next time you feel overwhelmed by stress or anxiety, pick a paint brush or some clay and bring out the creative artist in you.